Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
