worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
