hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
