bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you inspire me to be a worse person
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
