I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
two words: eviction party
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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