Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
