i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
