Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I need help removing her.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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