I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
