I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
