My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
