I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
