Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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