Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
