u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
