i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
