i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
