I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
