He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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