I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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