the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
