Nicole vs. Life
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
