last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
