If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
