what day is it and did you see me today?
it was like eating out sand paper
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
dude. I can hear the air.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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