We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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