A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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