Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
