I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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