If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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