I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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