On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
