He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
