Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
