Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
