i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
