I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
