And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
