Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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