I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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