yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
