Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
