The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
