I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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