I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
