Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
