Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
