me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
