New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
