ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
