mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
